I just got back from a trip to Oregon visiting my family and celebrating my grandfather's 90th birthday. We took both Milo and Lula - Milo got a special airport security pat down at SFO and on the way back thanks to the VNS. We also spent a few days at our family beach house which was alot of fun. It wasnt easy traveling with both kids but we did it. I'm exhausted though and hoping that we are staying put for awhile.





We visited Cannon Beach and Seaside, both have changed so much from when I was younger. I forgot how nice the beaches in oregon are - very clean compared to Southern Ca. Seaside still has the arcade games, skee ball and fascination just like i remember. Bruce's candy kitchen in cannon beach still has the best salt water taffy.

Lula is growing so fast - she seems huge to me at just 3 1/2 months and shes doing great. Milo is doing OK, the VNS has helped with the length of his seizures but he still has them daily. On this trip was the first time I felt pity from other people regarding Milo and our situation. It didn't feel good to think that people feel sorry for us, because I don't see Milo that way. He is who he is and I think he has a pretty good life - lot of activities, people who love him. I love Milo and have learned so much about patience, love and my life has just become more real thanks to him.

I suppose the pity is only going to worsen when we get him a wheelchair in a few months so he can go to school. Not sure how I will deal with it but my main feeling is that most people just dont get it, and that sucks. It also doesn't help when people are questioning whether Lula is normal, because all that goes on in my head and I've had her checked out by all of Milo's therapists and his ped and she is fine. I would like those questions to stay thoughts - I don't need to hear it. No need for me to feel more freakish than I already do, thanks.



posted by Liz at 2:25 PM

Alot has happened since my last post. Lula was born on her due date (May 30, 2005) at 7:39 AM. I woke up around 3:30 - 4 AM and was having regular contractions that were getting stronger. When I sat down and timed them, they were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I called my OB's after hours number and they told me to head to the hospital. I didn't think that things were moving too fast so I took a shower and gathered my things to go to the hospital. Since I was so unprepared for Milo's birth, this time my bag had been packed for the past month, I had bought a boom box and CDs, snacks for labor, lip balm and assorted other crap that the Birth Books told me I would want during my long labor. I assumed I would have a long drawn out labor like most of the stories I've heard.
As we were driving to the hospital, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. We got there at 5:30 AM, labor progressed really quickly, my OB didn't make it to the hospital in time and Lula was delivered at 7:39 AM by Dr Moon, a guy who I'd never seen before and I guess will never see again. Jason did play the music we brought but I cant say it helped at all. It was supposed to make me relaxed but I have to say that was the most painful experience I've ever had. Music just wasn't cutting it. The only thing I brought to the hospital that really came in handy was my own extra long pillow. Everything else was useless! I did get a last minute, basically pointless epidural that maybe covered the last push. I know they say that most mothers somehow forget the pain of childbirth - no way I'm going to forget the AM of 5.30.05 anytime soon.

After Lula was born, they placed her on my chest. She was covered with vernix, a substance that apparently all babies have in utero. Her skin looked like it was broken and crusty because of the vernix, and I totally freaked out. I said something like :"what is wrong with her? is she ok?" in a frantic voice - the nurses explained to me what the vernix was. Since Milo had been a c-section and a bit premature, they whisked him off, cleaned him up + wrapped him in a neat bundle before presenting him to me, he wasn't covered with goo. When you already have one child with a disabilty, you are acutely aware of all the things that can go wrong with a baby so seeing anything odd just scares the hell out of me. While I wasn't expecting anything bad, the fear of her being abnormal is always lurking. I still worry despite reassurances from her pediatrician, Milo's physical therapist and a normal expanded Newborn Screening. When will I stop worrying? Maybe when she graduates from college.

Her APGARS were 9 and 9 so she was in good shape - and 6 pounds 10 ounces. My OB thought she was going to be enormous, probably because I was huge and jabba the hut-like in the weeks leading up to her birth. She is adorable and I have to say it was worth going through labor to snuggle with her every day. Being able to buy cute little girl outfits is also a plus. When shopping for little boys it seems like dump trucks, sports and dinosaurs are the height of fashion for them, not so for the girls. She has a strong little personality and she's very curious about everything. Milo isn't so excited about our new arrival, he's not getting as much attention and every time she cries he turns up his volume to match. I didn't realize how much more work two children would be. I suppose that if Milo could walk, talk and feed himself that would make things easier. Having a 25+ pound child who is disabled and a newborn means that I'm trying to keep them both clean, fed and happy all day. And get Milo to all of his doctor & therapy appointments. Its a good thing he had the VNS surgery before Lula was born because I can't imagine doing that now.

Even my dreams have changed. Last night I had a detailed dream about a new Kate Spade double stroller. It was yellow with pink and purple polka dots. I was really into it and was testing it out. My other dream had to do with larvae of some kind living in my dishwasher, gross. Big brown cocoons hanging from the inside of my Bosch. You know your life has changed dramatically when you start dreaming about strollers.

posted by Liz at 7:04 PM

It's been a really stressful and busy couple of months for me. Earlier this week, Milo had surgery to implant a VNS - a Vagus Nerve Stimulator to help with seizure control. It's been three days since the surgery and besides feeling tender in that area, he seems to be doing well. Milo had a great surgeon who made us feel very confident about giving the VNS a try. He has tried so many seizure medications and he just gets worse and worse, we had to do something.

Between April and May, we have also bought a new house and sold our current house. We'll be moving in early June. I am still pregnant, due date is May 30th but I went to the OB this week who says I'm already 1 cm dilated and the baby's head has dropped quite low. She seemed to feel like next week might be the week...I am pretty uncomfortable and huge at this point. I never made it this far with Milo, so I never knew the XL feeling or the inability to sleep. Normally I am a great sleeper so this is a little traumatic for me. I somehow didn't fit in a childbirth class, so the whole VBAC will be interesting. I think I'd better at least buy a book and read up....



From a peaceful weekend in Sonoma, late April. Probably my last vacation for awhile.
posted by Liz at 6:23 PM

Yesterday we took a trip to the San Francisco Zoo. I've lived here for nearly six years and this was my first visit. It's a beautiful zoo, with lots of interesting plants as well. The weather is colder than the rest of SF because its so close to the beach, its a little windier than usual. There is one exhibit of Birds of Prey where they are all sitting on perches out in the open, tethered to the perch. That can't be very fun for the birds but its interesting to see them so close. The gorillas and chimpanzees were putting on a show, one of them did a crazy dance for the crowd. I always love seeing the zebras and giraffes, such interesting patterns...








posted by Liz at 6:52 AM

It's been a long time since I have updated - I'm going to TRY to keep up! So, the main news is that I am now 29 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. She is due May 30. I've been busy taking care of Milo and just getting bigger and bigger. It's more tiring being pregnant when you already have one to take care of. Lately I have had a hard time sleeping which is making me a little crazy! Other than that, its been a fairly easy pregnancy. I did get an amniocentesis this time which was not comfortable or fun, but the results were normal so I guess thats worth it???

Milo is doing just fine. He is going to turn two this month. Docs still have not figured out what is causing all of his problems, but they continue to think about it and test him for various genetic/metabolic disorders. He is making some progress and getting to look so grown up.

Let's see, I got really into "Project Runway", the only reality show besides "Queer Eye" that I've ever enjoyed. I'm not so crazy about "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" - everyone seems a little too hyper on that show and the girls don't look much better when they're done. I still love "Arrested Development", but I'm afraid it will get cancelled this year. The SF Giants will start the season soon, and the weather here in SF is beautiful - couldnt be better. Jason just bought me a pink Ipod mini, which I am loving. Hard to believe that it took me so long to embrace the ipod. I even got a cute case for it.
posted by Liz at 10:37 AM

I took a trip to Oregon last week with Milo. We spent last weekend at Gearhart, on the Oregon coast. On the way there, the weather was sunny and beautiful. Soon after our arrival, a storm came in and it rained all day Saturday. We had a great time despite the weather. I have not been to the beach house in years, in fact I can't remember when I was there last. 15 years ago? My family used to spend alot of time there when I was little, so lots of memories of my little brothers, cousins, friends, family live in that house. It was really warm in Portland earlier in the week, we just relaxed, shopped and had a mellow time.













posted by Liz at 8:58 AM

Last week I was on vacation on Oahu - I had such a good time with Milo and Jason. We got to relax alot, swim in the pool, sit on the beach, shop, and visit with our relatives. I was even relaxed on the plane ride to and from and managed to forget that I was even on a plane for a couple of hours. I didn't want to come back, but we're here and its cold and cloudy/foggy. Ah, the summer in San Francisco! My tan is not gonna last.





Milo loves swimming, here he is all tired out after a swim. The trip was really good for him - new weather, new people, new experiences.


posted by Liz at 9:43 AM