Alot has happened since my last post. Lula was born on her due date (May 30, 2005) at 7:39 AM. I woke up around 3:30 - 4 AM and was having regular contractions that were getting stronger. When I sat down and timed them, they were 3 to 5 minutes apart. I called my OB's after hours number and they told me to head to the hospital. I didn't think that things were moving too fast so I took a shower and gathered my things to go to the hospital. Since I was so unprepared for Milo's birth, this time my bag had been packed for the past month, I had bought a boom box and CDs, snacks for labor, lip balm and assorted other crap that the Birth Books told me I would want during my long labor. I assumed I would have a long drawn out labor like most of the stories I've heard.
As we were driving to the hospital, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. We got there at 5:30 AM, labor progressed really quickly, my OB didn't make it to the hospital in time and Lula was delivered at 7:39 AM by Dr Moon, a guy who I'd never seen before and I guess will never see again. Jason did play the music we brought but I cant say it helped at all. It was supposed to make me relaxed but I have to say that was the most painful experience I've ever had. Music just wasn't cutting it. The only thing I brought to the hospital that really came in handy was my own extra long pillow. Everything else was useless! I did get a last minute, basically pointless epidural that maybe covered the last push. I know they say that most mothers somehow forget the pain of childbirth - no way I'm going to forget the AM of 5.30.05 anytime soon.

After Lula was born, they placed her on my chest. She was covered with vernix, a substance that apparently all babies have in utero. Her skin looked like it was broken and crusty because of the vernix, and I totally freaked out. I said something like :"what is wrong with her? is she ok?" in a frantic voice - the nurses explained to me what the vernix was. Since Milo had been a c-section and a bit premature, they whisked him off, cleaned him up + wrapped him in a neat bundle before presenting him to me, he wasn't covered with goo. When you already have one child with a disabilty, you are acutely aware of all the things that can go wrong with a baby so seeing anything odd just scares the hell out of me. While I wasn't expecting anything bad, the fear of her being abnormal is always lurking. I still worry despite reassurances from her pediatrician, Milo's physical therapist and a normal expanded Newborn Screening. When will I stop worrying? Maybe when she graduates from college.

Her APGARS were 9 and 9 so she was in good shape - and 6 pounds 10 ounces. My OB thought she was going to be enormous, probably because I was huge and jabba the hut-like in the weeks leading up to her birth. She is adorable and I have to say it was worth going through labor to snuggle with her every day. Being able to buy cute little girl outfits is also a plus. When shopping for little boys it seems like dump trucks, sports and dinosaurs are the height of fashion for them, not so for the girls. She has a strong little personality and she's very curious about everything. Milo isn't so excited about our new arrival, he's not getting as much attention and every time she cries he turns up his volume to match. I didn't realize how much more work two children would be. I suppose that if Milo could walk, talk and feed himself that would make things easier. Having a 25+ pound child who is disabled and a newborn means that I'm trying to keep them both clean, fed and happy all day. And get Milo to all of his doctor & therapy appointments. Its a good thing he had the VNS surgery before Lula was born because I can't imagine doing that now.

Even my dreams have changed. Last night I had a detailed dream about a new Kate Spade double stroller. It was yellow with pink and purple polka dots. I was really into it and was testing it out. My other dream had to do with larvae of some kind living in my dishwasher, gross. Big brown cocoons hanging from the inside of my Bosch. You know your life has changed dramatically when you start dreaming about strollers.

posted by Liz at 7:04 PM